1. Take another woman's man. Not intentionally, that is. Even though all's fair in love and war and it ain't no sin.
2. Try to be anything but myself at all times, publicly and privately.
3. Cook, bake, sew, wash dishes, peel potatoes }if its assumed I should be, eat onions, or bite my nails.
4. Wear white cotton stockings or join a nudist colony.
5. Like opera, number thirteen, yodelling, cold spaghetti, rats, snails, men who shave their necks, or over-ripe bananas.
6. Care for people who whistle in dressing rooms or checks that bounce as high as the straosphere.
7. Act as if I'm motherly, sad when I'm not, dumb, or a virtuous wife, be